In the interviews I conduct for my YouTube podcast “The Viewpoint Zone” I ask my guests three questions: 1) name one core value/principle that informs your personal life philosophy; 2) how do you handle challenges and difficult situations and 3) what gets you out of bed in the morning? i.e. how do you find meaning and purpose in your life? This is meant to test the notion that experience is the great teacher and show that we develop our life philosophy and earn wisdom through the experiences we have in our lives. The questions work well to flesh out each individual’s life philosophy and I’m discovering that the core value very much informs the answers to the other questions thereby serving as a lodestar guiding the individual through their life. It truly is the cornerstone around which the individual’s personal life philosophy is built.
One of my recent guests, Ava Eisenson, named “honesty” as her core value. Being emotionally honest with herself and with others is extremely important to Ava and she tries very hard to “meet the moment” as it presents itself stripped of judgment and narrative. She noted the paradox of having a core value of honesty while working as an actress in the art of make believe. Upon further discussion, however, we realized that storytelling of any kind revolves around someone’s truth and for an actress that truth would be the truth of the character/role she’s playing at a given time. So the core value remains a steadfast anchor in the many environs of Ava’s life.
Our conversation turned to the uncomfortable aspects of living with honesty as a core value. Honesty can sometimes be delivered harshly, hurting the feelings of others. Ava referred to a quote attributed to the actress Kristin Bell’s therapist—“Honesty without tact is cruelty.” Truth for truth’s sake without consideration of how it is delivered can be counterproductive. The information is not heard when delivered without tact. There are also times when honest feedback is not appreciated; folks don’t want to hear it, much less accept it. It was at this point of the interview that my mind went to tarot cards. Strange leap, I know. But bear with me while I attempt to show the intersection of tarot and Ava’s wisdom. I’ll begin with a brief history and explanation of the tarot.
The tarot originated in Europe in the mid-15th century as a deck of playing cards. In the late 18th century they began to be used for divination purposes. Today tarot cards are used for divination, self-transformation, and many manners of seeking answers and insights into a range of questions from the everyday to the deeply spiritual. The tarot deck consists of 78 cards, 22 are a grouping called the Major Arcana which follow the Fool’s journey through the stages of life. The remaining cards are divided into 4 suits (like playing cards but different denominations in tarot)—wands, cups, swords and pentacles each suit representing an element and aspect of personality: wands for fire and passion, cups for water and emotions, swords for air and mental activity (thoughts and communication), pentacles for earth and the physical world. Ok back to Ava and honesty.
This dual nature of honesty—the clarity of vision and the hurtful force of blunt expression brought to mind the Queen of Swords (pictured above as the 1st card on the left in the line of 4). In the card we see a stern-looking queen sitting in profile on a throne adorned with angels and butterflies, symbols of divine love and transformation. Her left hand is gesturing towards someone and her right hand holds a sword upright signifying upcoming praise or punishment…we do not know. Swords in tarot represent the element of air which translates into mental activity, thoughts, words, communication. The sword is doubled-edged as truth can be constructive or destructive depending on how it’s meted out. This queen is a visionary, she’s facing right (the future) and she is known for her mental clarity, ability to see through BS and tough love. Some might call her harsh but her aim is not to be cruel but rather constructive. She cuts through the unnecessary to focus on the reality at hand which corresponds to Ava’s core value of honesty and its link to the acceptance of reality “as it is.”
Continuing onto the second question of dealing with challenges and difficult situations, Ava revealed her tendency to “catastrophize,” i.e. envision the worst that could happen. She pointed to the popular professor/podcaster Brené Brown who calls this behavior “dress rehearsal tragedy.” A protective mechanism probably harkening back to the days of fight or flight survival, it has some merit to be sure (the world can be a dangerous place) but is problematic when it becomes habitual behavior that leads to “analysis paralysis.” If you believe that your thoughts create your reality then the tendency to “catastrophize” will keep your nervous system on high alert, an uncomfortable and unhealthy reality.
Once again the tarot cards sprang into my mind. I pictured the 8 and 9 of swords (#2 and #3 in the picture above), two tarot cards showing people trapped in circumstances by their own limiting and negative thoughts. The 8 of swords shows a woman blindfolded and bound encircled (seemingly) by a row of swords struck in the ground around her. If she lifted the blindfold she could see the binding is rather loose and there is a way out of her circumstance to the lovely castle on the hill behind her. The 9 of swords shows a person jolted awake from a nightmare with head in hands. Nine swords hang ominously over the bed representing the anxious thoughts that trap this person in turmoil. So caught up in the anxiety of their making they are unable to see a symbol of the truly harmless reality in front of them—a lovely coverlet embroidered with beautiful flowers on the bed. These cards show the perils of negative thoughts and serve as cautionary tales for those of us with active (busy) minds.
These days in order to break her habit of “catastrophizing” Ava adopts a mindfulness practice which seeks to strip reality of all the add-ons of a busy mind in order to create an empty space where solutions can manifest. She fully understands that changing habitual behavior is not accomplished overnight but she is committed to the process for her mental health and the well-being of others in her life. My guest described how she has adopted a practice of seeing reality “as it is” without the narrative, judgment, hope for the best/prepare for the worst thought patterns. Adopting a new modality, in this instance, of seeing and accepting the present “as it is” has become a a faith-based practice. She might not always succeed but she has a belief that it is the right way to go and so she will continue the practice.
As we near the end of our discussion here and meet the third question we can see that In essence we are talking about taming the busy mind and learning how to accept what is without fabricating what you want it to be or what you fear it could be. For Ava, the practice of presence is her pathway to finding meaning and purpose in life. Of course she wants to do good works, leave the planet better off than she found it. She is one of the most thoughtful and conscientious people I know. But sometimes, on those days when the minutia can be overwhelming, she notes somewhat facetiously that a simple checklist is a welcome tool. The act of writing down the “to dos” and checking them off once they are done provides the stability to embrace a larger perspective of right action. It’s a matter of clearing away the minutia in order to delve into the bigger things.
Enter the tarot card of the Ace of Swords (4th and final card in the line of 4 above) which shows a hand appearing out of the clouds (heavens/divine) holding a beautiful shiny sword upright on top of which sits a crown encircled with a wreath signifying intellect, success and victory. The mountains in the background indicate challenges but clear vision and mental clarity are the tools of resilience to win the day. Honesty, presence, checklists, right action—these are the elements of Ava’s personal life philosophy and very much a part of the collective consciousness as revealed through the wisdom of the tarot cards.